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Hard skills vs soft skills — and why Emotional Intelligence is the glue.

Hard skills are about the job itself, while soft skills are about how you work with people and carry out that job. There isn’t one standardized list of soft skills, but one thing is clear: emotional intelligence (EQ) determines how well you put all other soft skills into practice.

Two sides of performance

Hard Skills

What you can do

  • Tools & methods
    e.g., Excel, coding, analytics, procedures
  • Repeatable results
    Clear standards and measurable output
  • Proficiency
    Learned via study, practice, certifications

Soft Skills

How you do it with people

  • EQ-driven
    Communication, empathy, collaboration, resilience
  • Contextual
    Adjusting to people, culture, situations
  • Glue
    Enables hard skills to land and stick

What is Emotional Intelligence?

According to Mental Health America, emotional intelligence is “the ability to manage your own emotions while also understanding the emotions of those around you.”

Five key elements

Self-awareness Self-regulation Motivation Empathy Social skills

Where does EQ come from?

1) Emotions come first (0–3)

We feel before we can think.

  • Reactions dominate; impulse-driven responses.
  • Regulation is external — caregivers model calm.

2) Intellect appears, emotions still lead (~3–7)

Language lets us label feelings, but emotion still steers behaviour.

  • Begin linking trigger → feeling → action.
  • Simple self-regulation starts (pause, breathe, ask for help).

3) Maturity = balance (teens → adulthood)

Emotion + intellect work together.

  • Notice the first reaction; choose a better second response.
  • Empathy and perspective-taking strengthen decisions.
Practice at any stage: Pause → name the feeling → choose a response. Try: “When X happens, I feel Y, so I’ll do Z.”

Many adults stay “stuck” when they avoid emotional management. Growth starts with awareness + small regulation reps.

Emotions in practice

Imagine a little inner “monster” with five basic states. All are natural — some feel positive, some negative. The skill is to avoid projecting your full emotional palette onto others.

Joy Sadness Anger Fear Calm (neutral)

Ethics in action: feel fully, respond thoughtfully.

Signs of low emotional intelligence